Well… my mom had a stroke and it crushed me. My aunts broke me the other day…how can they bully their own family? Clearly I am not talking to them and basically I can’t stand them atm.
And then you. You werre supposed to be gone, Belma. Gone forever, but here you are… Sending me texts about how worried you are and how you want to try again.
But I don’t think i want to. You say you wanna try again, well bullshit, because then you would’ve took time for me, our friendship and tried to rebuild it. But you don’t do anything about it. And tbh I am not sure i want you to.
I am getting better, way better without you. And yes, I miss you, but I miss the Belma that way already dying when we were best friends. And honestly I don’t like the new you one bit. You basically killed the good I saw in you when i first met you. I haven’t even once saw your honest smile. Maybe you’re not honest either huh?
I have so many worried but you is no longer one of them. I am finding my peace, making up to my mind and my body that I tortured for so long.
In order to get better, in order to stand up when I fall on my own I need you to keep your distance because if you won’t and will pick me up when i fall, I’ll end up falling down again when you decide to put me on a shelf again.
I need myself, I need me that i lost long ago.